Greetings, once again from Dropocalypse Friday, where you have left the mines of capitalist labor and are looking for ways to swiftly “stimulate the economy” by burning your paycheck on records.
Fortunately for you, we have a nice list of purchases you can make and hide from your wife – in the off-chance that you have one.
Khemmis – Khemmis
Khemmis have somehow been around for eleven years, and even weirder, they’re from Colorado. You would assume these guys were European because they’re legitimately good. In the even you don’t have enough albums with pensive looking knight-type dudes on the cover (unlikely), be sure to pick this one up ahead of the album release on June 9.
Evergrey – Architects of the New Weave
Okay, I know for sure these guys are European, as evidenced by the sheer amount of corny synth present on the title track of their fifteenth album, Architects of the New Weave. Kind of amazing how a single instrument can turn any music from “cool and notable” to “look man, it’s a guilty pleasure, don’t be a dick about it.” Gothenburg’s “masterminds of melancholia,” Evergrey are doing sad Scandinavian stuff again, might as well pick up a dope silver pressing now that the album has released for real.
Apocalyptica – Cult Repress
Apocalyptica represents the ‘band geek’ subset of fans who like a healthy dose of the symphony alongside their metal. You should probably buy this golden reissue of their 2000 album Cult as an ‘I’m sorry’-gift for the kid you shoved in lockers in high school for listening to dork-ass music like this. He actually turned out to be a really nice guy, you need a character witness for your custody hearing next month, and you’re kind of out of options.
Iron Kingdom – Shadows and Dust
Vancouver is apparently the capital for the New Wave of Traditional Heavy Metal, and Iron Kingdom are doing their part in the war against contemporary nu-slop. If the singles off their fifth album Shadows and Dust are any indication, this record is shaping up to be a pretty perfect simulation of listening to your dad’s tapes in the garage in 1986. Enjoy sneaking a beer from the fridge after school and headbanging to this version, hot off the press from their Bandcamp.
AFI – Decemberunderground 20th Anniversary Reissue
Before you get mad: I know AFI is not metal. I’m trying to do you a favor here because you’ve probably got an anniversary coming up. This fancy reissue of their uber-moody album Decemberunderground with a bonus 7-inch is for your girlfriend who has not moved past her emo phase. That’s fine. She’s cool and you like her! Hopefully?
August Burns Red – Season of Surrender
August Burns Red is one of those rare metalcore bands that was: a) good in the first place, b) actually has stayed good after all this time, and c) does not have any Balmora-type allegations (to the best of my knowledge). I guess you kind of have to make good art if you’re from the part of Pennsylvania where it’s like, 50% cows and 50% fentanyl. Their brand-new album Season of Surrender is available in five different color variants for the maximum illusion of choice.