Smokey Goretooth back again, wondering how we’re already halfway through October. I’ve also got a new “Do I Suck?,” MetalSucks’ version of “Am I The Asshole?” where we take real life horror stories and bring them to our readers to decide if the OP sucks for some bullshit they may or may not have done.
This week’s post comes from a somewhat disgruntled (ex) fan, who let the visuals totally ruin the music. You’ll see what I mean…
Hate is probably a strong word, but golly did the whole thing leave a bad taste in my mouth. The “mouth” part of this is specific, because it was what the vocalist was doing with his mouth that made me feel icky.
So I’ve been listening to this band for years but haven’t seen them live yet. I don’t necessarily wanna call them out by name because I don’t want anyone coming for me, but I’ll say their band name has a word in it that rhymes with “fight.” I saw them not that long ago, and the way the singer was on stage is still bothering me.
They were honestly great live, but the vocalist kept doing this weird shit with his mouth. Not just like sticking his tongue out or making frowny faces or things normal people do, but it was literally like he was making out with his fingers and the mic. Repeatedly, throughout every single song. Sometimes it looked like he was giving himself some sort of oral exam like they do at the dentist. At other times, it looked like he was pretending his fingers were another person that he was about to make sweet, passionately public love to. You know that scene in The Substance when Dennis Quaid is absolutely violating that shrimp? It was like that, but in real life, and with his own fingers instead of food. I don’t think I’ve been more disturbed by anything I’ve seen in in front of my face like that before.
Part of what bothered me so much was the fact that I had no idea when he last washed his hands. He’s running around the stage, touching stuff and all that, and then just putting his hands in his mouth?! That’s literally how COVID probably spread, and pretty much every other disease, so come on. Another thing that bothered me was how much he was doing the mouth stuff. It felt like he was doing it every other verse, if not more frequently, of every single song. I’m surprised he had any saliva left by the end of the set. That’s assuming he even did—I left early because I found the whole thing disgustingly infuriating.
I was talking to my friend afterwards about how the whole thing made me feel, and how I honestly think that I can’t listen to the band anymore because I can’t get the image of him desecrating his own mouth like that out of my head. I also told them how it lowkey made me regret getting the merch I bought, because wearing it would yet again be a reminder of such an egregious muzzle offense.
They told me I’m being entirely too dramatic, and that if something like that could make me stop liking a band then that means I was never a real fan in the first place. I am a fan! And have been for years! But I liken it to when you’ve been dating someone for awhile and the thing they did only a few times in the beginning, they’ve now done numerous times throughout the years, and it makes you feel differently about them. Just in this case instead of a years-long relationship it was like an hour-long set that made me never want anything in my own mouth ever again.
Do I really suck for feeling like this? If I do, I feel like I definitely suck much less than how much ol’ boy was sucking on his own goddamn fingers.
I wouldn’t call them a fair-weather fan, at all. As someone who also doesn’t like all that mouth mess, I imagine I might feel the same way, especially having seen the Dennis Quaid shrimp scene. What do y’all think?