Hello, everyone! Smokey Goretooth here covering “Do I Suck?,” MetalSucks‘ version of “Am I The Asshole?” where we take your horror stories and ultimately decide if you suck for some bullshit you may or may not have done.
Today’s entry comes from someone calling themselves “hedlover_26,” which should already give you a feel for what we’re dealing with here. Let’s get into it…
Let me start out by saying that I know how people feel about tall people standing anywhere that isn’t along a wall at shows, so keep that in mind when reading. My situation is different, so just hear me out.
I gotta set the scene first — I’ve had tickets to see (hed)p.e. for months. MONTHS. I’m looking forward as fuck to this show, my friends are looking forward as fuck to this show. We’re all fuckin ready to go. We hit a few bars first, crush a few beers, and try to show up a little bit after the openers are done.
So after like an hour or whatever later, hed is about to start and we’re stuck all the way in the back. We were basically in another country we were so far away from the stage. My friends were fine with it but I didn’t spend all this goddamn money just to need bird watchers to see them, so I start pushing my way to the front.
I wasn’t going all the way to the front, just front enough to not have to strain myself. Of course, there were people behind me, because I’m at a fuckin show, so I didn’t think much of it. I heard someone loudly sigh, so I turned around and saw some girl scrolling on her phone. I didn’t think much of it and turned back around.
For like four songs, this chick is sighing and going “ugh, really!?” super loud as if she wants people around her to hear. I try to ignore her because why the hell wouldn’t I, and then she pokes me super hard to get my attention so I turn around again like, “what is it dude?” and she’s all, “I think it’s really fuckin’ shitty of you to stand in front of me like that.” So then I say, “well everyone is standing everywhere, so what did you expect? you’re not even paying attention you’re just on your phone.” She then says “I have a right to be on my phone.” Of course she does, so I don’t even know why she felt the need to tell me that.
At this point, I’m pissed because she talked to me through my favorite part of “Waiting to Die” so I fuckin’ missed it. I turn around again because I’m not gonna miss any more of this and then she just shouts at the back of my head, “MOVE ASSHOLE,” and tries to push me a little. I thought it was funny because she was like 5’5″ and I’m at 6’3″ when it counts. I’m not even mad at the push, I’m mad at being called an asshole, so I ask her wtf her problem is and she said how it’s not fair that I can just stand in front of her like that. She goes, “look I’m just here with my friends I don’t give a shit about this band,” so then I say “well I do!” and I point at my shirt because I’m wearing one from their tour a couple years ago.
So am I the asshole for standing in front of someone who didn’t even give a shit about (hed)p.e. anyway?
We’ve all probably been each of the people in this situation, so honestly – it seems the real crime here is being at a (hed)p.e. show in the first place.