Jill Duggar Dillard is sharing her truth. While there’s nothing Duggar heading to the TV schedule in the near future, the mom of two has kept busy and has been on a press tour with her husband Derick Dillard in recent months in support of her book Counting The Cost. The book became a New York Times bestseller and has been a topic of conversation in recent months, and now Jill is expanding out on some of the stuff she wrote about in her book, including her father’s control over her life, as well as the Duggar family estrangement that’s been rumored.
The TLC Reality Issues That Sparked The Rumors
Jill has been candid already about her father Jim Bob Duggar allegedly avoiding paying her and her siblings for their work on the TLC shows. She’s also spoken about how her husband Derick threatened to file a protective order when she was being tasked to do things and reportedly not given much of a choice about filming Counting On and other familial obligations. Now, in a new podcast interview, she explained that it wasn’t just a “control” issue her parents had; she believes they truly felt her “salvation” was being jeopardized, telling Unplanned Podcast:
I was, in their eyes, making decisions that would potentially be harmful to me and were so big and counter their cultural [beliefs], I would go so far as to say jeopardizing my salvation at that point.
While Jill contends she – just like her sister Jinger – had some positive experiences growing up Duggar, her husband Derick confirmed the issues they had with not being paid for showing off major life events such as their wedding and the births of Duggar sibling babies was what took things over the edge and led to major issues with Jim Bob and Michelle.
Really the reality TV just poured gasoline on the fire that was already there, because that would have been the case. Jill and I have talked about this. With or without the reality show, this control issue would have been a thing, but it just blew everything out of proportion. …There’s more things you can hold over somebody.
So, it’s clear things have been tense, but where does the family stand after Jill published her memoir?
Are Jill And Derick Estranged From Jim Bob And Michelle?
She and Derick admitted they aren’t fully “estranged” from her parents. That’s not to say things are all gravy, either. Relations have certainly been tense, but in the podcast interview she also did have positive things to say about the way her parents raised her. However, it has been over a year since Jill has seen both of her parents together — before she published her book.
Have we seen both of my parents? No, I think we’ve just seen my mom. I’m trying to think. Was it that [my son’s birth]? Was it a wedding. I can’t remember. … We saw them [both] at a birthday party. … But that was before the book. But that was since we had our last baby.
She’s certainly seen her mom at least once in the past year, as a viral picture of Michelle Duggar wearing pants at an all-girls Duggar reunion made the rounds last spring. In that time window, Jill also noted she’s seen several of her siblings but has to know “what am I up for emotionally” when she meets with members of her family.
She said that “trauma” and “triggers” do impact her family relationships, but she noted she wrote the book hoping that maybe the book will be a “resource” for her siblings and others in the IBLP community down the line. But she does have a message for her parents even though she only sees them rarely:
We love you guys. I mean we’ve texted. We’ve said, ‘I love you.’ We’re going to agree to disagree. We are our own family; we’re comfortable with being our own family and in where we are as the Dillard family. But we love you and we want to take steps to have a healthy relationship. What that looks like … we might have different ideas about what that looks like, but we hope that we can go forward with mutual respect.
Still, they won’t go back to how things were before. Derick said the book title wasn’t a misnomer; they really do “count the cost” daily about what their actions took and why they made the choices they did. Jill also said that she has hopes her book will be a resource down the line for anyone questioning the IBLP and its dynamics. At the end of the day, she won’t “trade ignorance is bliss” for the life she has now.
So, if you have been wondering if those estrangement rumors are true, they aren’t exactly, but things with her family aren’t exactly easy either. For more on what the Duggars went through, check out Shiny Happy People with an Amazon Prime subscription.