Hello, again! It’s Smokey Goretooth back with another “Do I Suck?,” MetalSucks’ version of “Am I The Asshole?” where we take real life horror stories and bring them to our readers to decide if the OP sucks for some bullshit they may or may not have done.
This week’s submission comes from a user named “AsIxLayCry1ng,” who is questioning the sanity of one of her friends because of her new boyfriend. Good grief, let’s read on…
The fact that this is even something I have to think about is absolutely beyond me, especially since it’s supposed to be MY DAY.
So I’m getting married in a few months and even though it’s been expensive as hell, I did grant all my guests a +1 so they don’t have to sit there like a sad sack by themselves while I embark on matrimonial bliss. One of my friends — let’s call her Evie — has been single for most of my wedding planning process, but a few months ago started dating this absolute dipshit who I’ll call Matt. All of us in the friend group were happy for her when she first told us about him, telling us how well he treated her and how special she felt because of all the typical romantic crap dudes who court ladies usually do. That was all well and fine, but after we met him for the first time, that all changed.
Evie brought Matt with her to hang out with us at the bar one night and it started out pretty chill. He seemed charming, weird as fuck but charming at the very least. The more he drank though, the more his inner workings started to show, and it really took a turn when we started talking about music. My fiancé and I, and quite a few of our other friends, are all metalheads. That night I think I was wearing a Darkest Hour shirt or something, which sparked the conversation. Matt said he listens to metal, too, and how one of his favorite bands is Austrian Death Machine. That obviously piqued my interest, because who the fuck in the world has ever said that? I’m pretty mouthy, especially when I drink, so I responded with something to the effect of “let me guess, As I Lay Dying was your first favorite band too, huh?” And this dummy actually said yes.
Which, fine. Everyone can grow out of stuff and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t also used to like As I Lay Dying. But I asked him how he could still listen to Austrian Death Machine knowing the piece of dog shit Tim Lambesis is. His response was, and this is a literal quote, “I don’t think Tim did anything wrong. We all wanna kill our partners sometimes.” Bro, what in the actual fuck?
I obviously bugged out about this, and said how I’ve never in my life felt the need to hurt my partner, and my fiancé chimed in and said the same thing (if he didn’t, he wouldn’t be my fiancé anymore that’s for sure). Matt kept defending Tim Lamjailsis by saying that he himself didn’t try to hurt her, and the fights he had with his different ladies after the murder-for-hire shit were just typical couple things that outsiders shouldn’t be involved in. I was absolutely shocked.
Evie was there for this whole thing, and didn’t speak up once. I called her out, asking her why she wants to be with the kind of guy that thinks it’s okay to hire someone to murder their wife and who is an abuser and shit. Her response was almost as shocking — something like “He’s just messing around and I know he’d never do anything like that to me.” I was so fuckin’ cheesed that I called her a dumb bitch, him a dumb motherfucker, and I stormed out.
The next day, some of the other people that were there reached out to me and said I was a little harsh on Evie and that my issue is really with Matt, which I guess I understand. I ended up reaching out to Evie and apologized for calling her out of her name, but told her if Matt was who she’s planning on taking to my wedding that I’m retracting her +1. She told me I was being overly dramatic and that if he doesn’t get to go, then she’s not gonna go, which is just so fuckin dumb.
I can’t even tell who I think sucks more at this point between the two of them, but am I also sucky for inadvertently uninviting her because of her dumb fuck boyfriend?
That was a doozy, but however, this very much feels like an ‘everyone sucks here.’ What do y’all think, though?