The New Spiter (Devil Master, Sh*tf*cker) Is What Fundamentalist Christians Think Metal Is

Metal

There are two kinds of heavy metal bands in classic 1980s Satanic Panic-era movies. One is made by broad-pectoraled outlaws whose love of metal is the product of a broken home which has left them either charmingly guarded or ruined and psychotic. The other is a bunch of black-clad facepainted satanic footsoldiers hellbent on making you smell their crotches in a moonlit cemetery. And Spiter, who you may remember from their track “I Am Dracula,” is most definitely the latter — but unlike many other bands who adopt this persona, they also wrote an album which backs it up.

Spiter’s new record Bathe the Babe in Bats’ Blood — before we go any further, man, what a title — is a repulsive explosion of sharpened satanism, vampire worship, and total depravity. Every song includes one rad-ass riff that sounds like a descending axe blade while tackling topics like living shadows, people who eat spiders, and Transyl-fuckin’-vania.

The album cover will give you a solid idea of what the band are preaching:

Yeah, exactly. These guys are the sonic equivalent of stuffing a sock your goat-leather codpiece before growing bat wings and eating a tombstone. Wait, holy shit, is that a real baby?

Here’s the band’s statement on the record:

“Much like Dracula leaving Transylvania hell-bent on conquest, Richard Spider (Daemon Bitch of SHITFUCKER) moved to Philadelphia with the sole intent of forming SPITER. Alongside fellow magician Bat (Darkest Prince of Devil Master), and Philly punk drummer Snake (Disjawn), who was magically uncovered in a destined meeting, the lineup was complete. Following the path forged by the infernal and immortal Dragon, creating the True Vampyric Metal Punk in the name of our God and Father, Satan!” 

So there you — either you think this shit is embarrassing as hell, or you’re super here for it.

Spiter’s Bathe the Babe In Bats’ Blood is out now via Hell’s Headbangers, and available for purchase. Meanwhile, the band heads out on tour tomorrow, so catch them at one of the dates below:

5/19 Brooklyn, NY @ St. Vitus
5/20 Philadelphia, PA @ Fotoclub 
5/21 Washington, DC @ Atlas Brew Works
5/22 Richmond, VA @ Cobra Cabana
6/2 Pittsburgh, PA @ Rockroom
6/3 Detroit, MI @ Donovans Pub
6/4 Cincinnati, OH  @(DSGN) CLLCTV
6/5 Cleveland, OH @ No Class

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